Exercise 2: How Does Writing Fit Into Your Life?...It Don't!

Writing Exercise 2: How does writing fit into your life? Is it a hobby, a profession, a dream or something else?  Write about this priority and if you would like to shift it at some point.

Writing is chore, much like doing the dishes, folding the laundry or having to wake my body up early in the morning for work after staying up much too late the night before.  However, I have learned to enjoy a clean kitchen sink, find clean and pressed clothes when I need them and pay my bills with a job well done.  But I have yet to reap the rewards of writing.  I do all of the other chores in my life because I need to, and in some small way, I want to.  Writing however is not something I yet need or want to do.  It is a chore that is not required or rewarding as of yet, but I am hopeful.

As a child, I was constantly made fun of.  I internalized hateful messages about my race and bilingual tongue.  I struggled with speaking and reading well, and the constant mocking from my peers made me more nervous and stutter more.  I now understand that my stuttering and inability to read aloud was due to their racism.  But a boy knows only the pain and embarrassment of not being able to perform.  So I believed that I was not able to read or write very well due to something innate.  I was damaged due to my race, and I would forever be held down, especially when I spoke or read.  From there, I did as very little reading as I could get away with.  I figured that my tongue was not fitting well in my mouth and that reading aloud, and then later reading at all, was too much work.   

Add 30 long years to that belief/lie, I find myself as an adult longing to be someone else.  I long to have written a book.  I long to be published.  I long to be a writer.

And so that is why I started writing yesterday and why I am writing today.  I am committed to write every day for 30 days with prompts I found in an e-book on my iPhone, “TheWriting Sampler” by Bryan Cohen.  This commitment is to the little boy who was told that he could not read aloud, nor ever write a book.  This commitment is to all the children who have been told that they couldn’t do something just because they looked different.  I write so that I can tell not only my story, but to share my journey with others.

With that goal in mind, I sure damn hope that after these thirty days that there is a pay-off.  I mean, I do have a list of other chores to get to that have more immediate results!