Exercise 3: Imagine Joining a Writing Group

Exercise 3: Imagine you have joined a writing group in your area.  This group is full of writers from different backgrounds and skill levels.  You present your most recent piece of writing to the group.  How do they react and what are all of their comments?

I have a bipolar relationship with writing.  It seems like a very personal and private task, yet it can also be out in the open for public display.  On the third day of my writing exercise, I write while sitting in a van with three other people on my way to a meeting in New Rochelle.  I am sitting in the last row while everyone is facing forward and paying no mind to each other.  The driver’s attention is on the road.  The woman sitting in front of me is napping and the man sitting to her right is daydreaming out the window.  And then there’s me, secretly putting words on this page bouncing between looking at the screen and then looking out the window to avoid a headache from the vertigo induced by the ride.  And although all four of us are in our own little worlds, each as private as the next, I am writing something that will be posted later on my blog, which will pop my bubble of privacy making this experience public. 

It is possible that my van mates could stumble upon this work and learn the secrets of the last row, but it isn’t very probable. In fact, it seems that my posts, which are reposted on my Facebook page and tweeted through twitter, are barely seen by those I do know.  I have about 10 readers per new post, and I think some of those “visits” are from me checking to make sure my posts uploaded correctly. 

Another characteristic of this bipolar relationship I have with writing is my experience of fear and excitement.  Those two feelings jump up at once when I think about joining a writing group.  The internal Dynamic Duo battles it out.  They sound like this “I wonder where I can find a writing group.”  “Well, the internet is a great way to find anything!” “When will I find the time to meet?”  “You have so much time you can start spending it on this as well!”  “Why would they want to include me?”  “Why wouldn’t they want to have you?”  “How much time will I have to devote to it?”  “All the time in the world that you need and as little time as you can afford will be just enough.”  And finally, “If no one is reading my posts, why would I want to subject strangers to my beginning skills?”  “Not no one is reading them.  And if no one were reading them, you still are exercising your writer’s muscle and defining them with every word you post. So keep it up.”

This internal dialogue is not uncommon for me.  I approach much of my life with this yin/yang curiosity before I take action.  Sometimes, this process can be debilitating for me to taking any action.  When that happens, I do one of two things.  I postpone taking any action at all or I take a breath and do it any way.  I think the latter is when I exercise bravery and faith. 

For today, I rest with my insecurities as a writer, or as a person who is interested in writing, and will not join a writing group in my area, but I will be brave and have faith as I continue to post for 30 days on my writer’s blog, and see what happens.