Writing Exercise 21: Xander's Training

Writing Exercise 21: Write from another person’s perspective.

At 8 PM, Xander hurried home sweaty and exhausted from Physical Training (PT) with the Marines.  He dropped his bag, and rushed for the bathroom to take the long awaited piss building in his bladder in the last hour.  As he pulled down his shorts to pee, his arms resisted.  The muscles in his biceps were too taut to allow him to perform this mundane task of straightening his arms.  Panicked that he would pee in his pants, Xander bent his knees feeling his thighs burn and he lowered his shorts.  A long and silent breath escaped his lips as he relived himself in one of the most awkward positions he has ever taken to take a piss. 

Knees and elbows bent, he shook himself dry and pulled his shorts back up grunting from the strain in his arms and legs.  He waddled over to the sink only 2 feet away and decided that washing his hands would take too much effort.  He brushed the wetness off of his right hand on the limp towel as he stumbled out of the bathroom. 

Falling onto the mattress looked much easier to do in his head.  His stiff body wouldn’t even let him collapse with the force of gravity.  So he grunted one more time as he tried to soften his knees to sit down.  It seemed like every muscle, even ones he didn’t know he had, was working against him.  It was just too much effort to put his feet on the bed, so he kept his feet on the floor and felt the cramping of his abs as he laid back. 

Xander stared at the ceiling for a minute and wonderer what the heck he was doing.  All this pain and stress on the body was for what?  He couldn’t even answer this time.  A tear rolled out of his left eye as he thought about the distance between the man he wants to be and the man that he is tonight.  He wondered if anyone else ever felt this way as he drifted off to sleep, his body twitching every few minutes before it finally relaxed in slumber.

Writing Exercise 20: Haiku for the Heart

Writing Exercise 20: Write a Haiku.

                           The heart keeps beating

        without sound nor forgiveness.
Stiff body and mind.

Writing Exercise 19: Healthy Inputs and Healthy Outputs

Exercise: Write about your health.

I tend to think of myself as a healthy kind of guy. I take care to watch what I put into this body and what I put out.

When it comes to healthy living, I pay attention to what I consume. I try to maintain a healthy diet for my body, including lots of leafy green vegetables. However, my healthy consumption doesn't stop there. I do what I can to also maintain a healthy mindset by watching very little mass media and choosing wisely what materials I will read. Keeping a watch on what I consume both physically and mentally allows me to live a more healthy and happy life.

And the way I live a healthy and happy life can be seen by what put out into the world through my behavior. As you may expect, as a healthy minded person, I don't litter, and I recycle as much as I can. In fact, I have been know to go as far as reusing plastic forks, spoons and knives by bringing them home and washing them! In addition to reducing the amount of material waste I put out, I also practice active listening and mindful communication. It is my intention to be in conversations that promote growth and healthy living. By being mindful of my negative and harsh judgements, I can filter out those ideas so I don't vocalize them. This practice could be considered the anti-littering of the mind campaign. It isn't easy to do, but I think I am healthier and happier for not dumping on my friends or gossiping about people.

So although I have much work to do in order to sustain my health, paying attention to what I take in and what I put out is one way I make it more manageable.

May you be healthy in body, mind and spirit!

Writing Exercise 18: Friends Without Benefits

Writing Exercise 18: Write about relationships.

Last night, I was at a lovely dinner party at a friend’s apartment in New York City last night overlooking Central Park.  Although the view of Manhattan’s skyline from within the city was breath taking, it was the conversation and compnay that all six of us were intensely enthralled with.  Although some of the dialogue was fun and light, we also discussed ponderous topics including positive and negative trends in the “hook up” culture, personal appreciations, the state of affairs today, and accessing and owning our own privileges.  However, my mind woke up today lingering on one of the topics that was transformative for me: relationships. 

I listened intently last night as our host spoke about transactional relationships.  From what I gathered from him, many of our relationships are transactional relationships.  This means that a transaction happens between two or more people.  And without that transaction, those people might not interact at all.  My thoughts raced to the clerk at the supermarket and the server at the restaurant I dined at the week before.  I would not have a relationship, not dialogue with either one of them if it were not the fact that I was purchasing or ordering items and then paying for them.     

When I left the dinner party, my thoughts surrounded me.  There were too many to fit into the subway, so asked them to join me for a walk up Fifth Avenue towards 125^th street.  As I walked, I bridged several conversations we had.  I thought about transactional relationships within the “hook up/friends with benefits” culture.  If it were not for sex, would those people see each other or even be friends?  And what does it mean to be so physically intimate with someone and not know much else about them?  What does it mean when our privileges allow us to see each other as “others?” Does that give us permission or easy access to keep those we don’t know or understand or fear at a distance?  As I walked by a man sleeping on the cardboard he must have laid on the ground for comfort, I wondered if it was easier to keep the relationship with him transactional.  If I gave him a dollar would I then be purchasing relief from knowing that the systems if unfair?

As I neared 125^th street, I let my thoughts fall away and lay on the ground like the many I saw earlier.  I headed home exhausted, and slept a good sleep.

This morning, I woke refreshed thinking about all my relationships.  I thought about my friends and family and then I spent an hour with my son.  During that hour, I did not expe offer him anything nor expect him to give me anything in return.  We just spent time together for the purpose of being with each other.  We talked, laughed, and then made plans to go dancing later tonight.

I learned a lot being present at dinner last night as well as with my son this morning.  And I intend to apply that to more than just people who are closest to me.  For today, my practice includes being present with those I am with regardless of the transaction.  I intend to be present with my friends regardless of what I can gain or give to them. 

Special thanks to my friends without benefits: Leng, Home, Andy, Roger, and Alex – the Dinner Crew!

Exercise 17: What About 100%?

Today, I am mobile and using my cell phone to write my blog. Interesting experience.


Writing exercise 17: Why should students give 100%?


As a professor at a private college, I often hear students talking about aiming for a B grade or being happy with just a passing grade. And as a former full time night student who worked during the day and on weekends I very much can understand why they would choose to settle for a low grade. However, there is something special about the students who do make it their intention to get the highest grade possible by giving their 100%.


Students who put there best foot forward and challenge themselves not only do well in my classes, but tend to do well in all of their classes. And in my class, they tend to absorb more of the content, apply more of the learned concepts, and stress less about tests, quizzes and final examinations. This is not to say that they don't study. This just means that after they study, they tend to feel more confident walking into a test than their counter parts. And that confidence is carried into their workplace as well as in their homes.


Students who give 100% learn not only the content of the courses they are taking, but they learn the valuable skills it takes to achieve results they want. While learning about psychology, writing, and sociology in my classes, these students also learn strategies for accomplishing tasks individually as well as in group projects. They also acquire better foresight, time management and multi-tasking skills, and personal ecology.


Those who give their best in the classrooms make their courses more interesting, learn a set of valuable skills along with the course content and serve as a good role model for others as they tend to be the happiest students I know. After all, wouldn't you be happier if you knew you did your absolute best?


When I was a child, my dad used to tell me that if I wanted to shoot an arrow to the 21st floor that I should aim higher. He said that gravity and friction from the air would slow down my arrow and would make it hit a mark much lower than my original goal.


So for students who are not yet convinced that aiming for an A grade for all the reasons I listed above, consider my father's story. If you want a passing grade, you may want to aim for an A anyway as you just might then get exactly what you want!

Exercise 16 - An Imagination Within a Dream

Exercise 16: Write about a recent dream.

Whoa!  I just woke up from an intense dream!  I was a participant in a workshop with a spiritual leader from India.  He asked everyone to talk about what it might be like to visit India on a vacation.  As the participants, in order, rattled off what they would be doing, seeing, and experiencing, the story was building.  When the story got to me, our "character" was in the hotel.  A man sitting on opposite of me looked into my eyes and laughed as he blurted, out of turn, "What if we ran into one of his kids?"

So I was game.  I continued the story.  I said that we would see the spiritual leader's son and we would chat with him for a bit.  The spiritual leader stopped me and asked me why I chose to speak with his son.  I replied that I was influenced by the man across the way to meet with his children.  He then responded with a series of questions.  He asked me why I didn’t also speak with his daughter.  I responded that I was going to let the next person add that part of the story.  Unsatisfied with my answer, he continued his inquiry, or rather his psychoanalysis, probing for something deeper.  I sensed my defenses, like a wall made of recycled paper was being easily, and yet gently, torn down by his final question.

His question was more of a series of statements.  It blinded me at first like walking out of a movie theater into the bright afternoon sun.  And soon my mind’s eye adjusted and was able to see the beautiful colors and richness of my story.  His question was, “Why did you envision the boy walking away and not running towards me, his father?  Why did you not see us embracing in a hug while wearing smiles upon our hearts and faces?”

I was stunned.  I didn’t speak, but I could hear my thoughts as everyone else started to slowly evaporate into nothingness.  Why was I picturing the boy in my imagination without affection?  Is that the way in which I live my life?  Do I withhold affection towards the people I love?  If so, why would I do that?  Can I choose to be more physically affectionate with those I love?  Is that something I want?

I woke up shortly after asking myself these questions and slowly came to the realization that my vivid dream helped shift a part of me.  I know not what will come of this, but I feel lighter and more inspired.  I am thankful for my unconscious helping me along.  It felt like I dove so deep into my unconscious, like in the movie, “Inception.”  I was dreaming of being in a workshop where I used my imagination to see myself in a hotel with a boy.  Whoa!  That is intense! 

Exercise 15: 3 Benefits of My Degree

Writing Exercise 15: What did college do for you?

I have the luxury of walking into a private college and sit with about 30 students, 4-days a week, and get paid for it.  This is a far cry from what my life was like ten years ago.    Back then, I was the student going to school full-time at night while working full-time during the day as well as working for a DJ on the weekends.

I was unclear as to what direction my future would take, but I knew that earning my college degree would afford me privileges.  I believed both my income and opportunities would change for the better.  I didn’t know then, but it was my confidence that changed most significantly for the better.

Since graduation, my income has doubled.  When I first earned my degree, I got an initial pay raise at the job I was already working at.  I enjoyed that pay raise, and also yearned to make more money so that I could be more comfortable with my lifestyle.  I wanted to be able to eat at a restaurant and not worry about paying for the bill or go food shopping and not have to put items back if I didn’t have enough money.  I didn’t want to skip paying one bill so that I could pay another.  So to satisfy my financial hunger, I started looking for work that would allow me to continue to do what I was interested in and pay me more handsomely.

This is when I realized more opportunities were available to a college graduate with a master’s degree.  I noticed when I was on the hunt for work, I would find jobs asking for a bachelor’s or master’s degree and I still qualified as an applicant.  In fact, my current job required a master’s degree.  If I didn’t have my degree, I would not be able to apply. 

So it is true, my degree offered me both a handsome salary as well as the opportunity to teach at the college level, allowing me to make my schedule and live the lifestyle I know can afford.  And although those benefits are significant, what is most significant to me is since I earned my degree, I feel confident.  I stand taller, speak with more conviction, and smile more often.

What did your college degree do for you?  If you don’t have a degree, what could one do for you?  I don’t know if the benefits will be the same as mine, but I am pretty sure that having a degree made my life just a little better.